HOD’IJAM CHAPTER 9 BY NOORIEEYAH
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“Wallahi dadi ne yake maki yawa a gidan nan Ann,ji wani qaqalen kukan shagwaba?God of mercy!”+
Muryar Yusrah ta doki kunnuwan su,hakan bai sanya Niiman dakatawa ba,hasalima qara dagewa tayi wajen da matso hawayen qarya,ji take kaman ta tashi ta falfala da gudu,meyasa Yaa Kabeer din ke mata haka ne?yasan sarai me irin wasannin nan nasa ke sanyata,gaba daya birkicewa take ta rasa nutsuwar ta.
“Keh Yusrah,,wai dama kina cikin palor dinnan?meyasa kin rainani ne?oyaa zo maza ki fice kibar parlorn nan tun kafin na iske ki a gurin nan kina munafinci.”
Daga can dinning arean take bada hakuri,haka kuma bata fasa qyalqyalar dariyar da takeyi wa Ni’imahn ba cikin sigar tsokana.
“Afuwan Ya Blacky,Allah dai ya nuna mamu ranar nan muci rangyam mu kwaso shoki.”
Harara Niiman ta sakar mata lokaci guda tana mai sake sakin kuka shagwaba.
“Manta da ita Ni’imah ta,just say Amen to her du’ah.”
Tana sake cusa kanta cikin tafukan hannayenta ta amsa da amin,yana shirin sake magana ne wayar shi ta dauki kiran neman agaji,hakan yasa shi maida hankalin shi kan wayar,lokaci guda kuma yai hanzarin daukar wayar bayan ya nemi uzurin yin hakan wajen Ni’imahn.
“Assalamu Alaikum M.Gee barkanmu da warhaka….”
Ita kam ganin yana waya hakan yabata damar zuwa ta kawo mashi ruwa,ko da ba zaici abinci ba yanzu a nan dole yana buqatar abinda zai sanyaya mashi maqoshi,samun kanta tayi da jin wani bacin rai a zuciyar ta,ko sai yaushe ne zasu zama masoya masu ‘yanci kamar kowa?ko sai yaushe ne dadadden burin su zai cika?Tashin hankalin d akan ziyarce ta a duk lokacin da tai gigin tunanin rasa Kabeer dinne ya risketa a yanzun ma,hakan yasa ta jingina da fridge din dake kusa da ita tana mai ambaton Allah,hakan nan kuma ta shiga rera adduar samun mafita tare da fatan Allah ya iya masu da iyawar shi.
Ko da ta koma falon har a lokacin amsa wayar yake,ta lura da yanda yabaiwa wayar muhimmanci,haka nan kuma idan ba idanunta sai ta ga kamar er damuwa akan fuskar shi,saidai bata kawo komi a ranta ba bayan danganta hakan da tayi da tarin gajia da ke tattare da shi,itama dai hakan yabata damar cigaba da danna tata wayar,hakan ya taimaka wajen dauke hankalin ta daga kanshi,dama dai Fawad bacci yakwashe shi a jikin Kabeer din tun fitowarta daga kitchen ta iske hakan.
Muryarshi da ta jiyo yana ambaton sunanta ya bata tabbacin yagama wayar,hakan yasa ta hanzarta wajen miqa mashi ruwan da ta kawo mashi,babu musu ya amsha ya sha,kana ta zuba mashi zobon da ta hada mashi mai sauqin zaqi,kasantuwarshi mutum maabocin qauanar zobo,nan dinma amsa yayi ya shanye lokaci guda yana mai sanya mata albarka kaman yanda ya saba a duk loakcin da abu makamancin hakan ya faru.
“Daddy inafatan lafiya?naga er damuwa a fuskar ka.”
Yanayin fuskarshi ya sanyata dole tambayar sanin baasi,shi dinma baya yayi yana shafa kanshi,lokaci guda yana mai dafe kanshi cikin bayyanannen damuwa,kana yace.
“Kin tuna kafin indawo nafada maki na hadu da wani old friend dina?its been quite long da muka hadu sai jiyan,ko da yake zan iya cewa ma tunda nasanshin a shekarun baya bamu sake haduwa ba sai rannan din a Abuja.”
Ya numfasa kana ya cigaba,
“Remember i told you zanje inga Dr.Nurayn a nan Limi hospital ba?so coincidentally or let’s say lucky enough shima yana da appointment da Dr Nurayn din wanda hakan yayi sanadiyar sake haduwarmu after like 10 years back.”
“10 years?baku da contact din juna ne?”
Ta tsinci kanta da tambayar,domin dai a zamanin irin wannan sai dai in mutum yazabi qin yin zumunci,amma hanyoyi ga su nan ta ko’ina da zaa iya sada zumuncin ba tare ma da anga juna ba.
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“Well everything that happened between us was somewhat brief,he is a good man that i can boldly approve,kirkin nashi ne ma yakaimu da qulla abota tun haduwar ta mu a saudiya,we met in madina year din munje hajji,and dagani sai Ammy sai Daada ne mukaje Hajji a wannan shekaran,unfortunately ranar Arfa sai ciwon Dadaa yatashi na Athma,ga kuma hawan jini,dadin dadawa Ammy ma garin
ayi qoqarin fita da Dadaan guri mai sauqin cunkosa kafin zuwan emergency management su qaraso itama tsautsayi ya sanyata faduwa,kinsan dai tarin mutane irinna hawa arfa,just imagine irin tashin hankalin da hakan ya janyo man,my attention was called,wanda tun kafin in iso shi wannan abokin nawa yazama cikin mutane na farko da suka taimaka mana,da shi da sisternshi a lokacin suka zame mana tamkar en uwa na jini,hakan yai sanadiyar qulla kyakkyawar alaqa tsakaninmu a iya dan zaman da muka yi a qasar,dake su ta shiyyar Abuja suka zo sun riga mu tafiya,sun tafi bayan munyi musanyar layi da adreshin juna,amma bayan dawowar mu Allah bai nufa alaqar zata doreba,kasantuwar duk layunka da yabani basu shiga,tun ina gwada su a duk lokacin da na samu damar yin hakan har na haqura,har gobe kuma banajin Daada ta manta M.Gee a ranta,because kusan babu rana ta Allah da inhar zamu zauna doguwar hira bata ambace shi ba.”
“Allah sarki,toh what was his excuse?shi meyasa bai nemeka ba?”
Ajiyar zuciya yayi kana yace,
“He told me bayan dawowar mu ya rasa qaramar jakar shi da wayoyin shi a ciki,and bai samu yayi welcome back layin ba kasantuwar dama ba shine personal layin shi ba,and numbers din da ya amsa suna cikin waccen wayar da ta bata,and after that ma dai ya fada mani abubuwa da dama sun faru,wadanda ba ababe bane masu dadin ji ba,kinsan rayuwa kanzo wa bawa ta hanyoyi da dama kama na daga farin ciki da kuma akasin hakan.”
Ya dan numfasa lokacin da fuskar shi ke sake bayyana er damuwar da yake ciki.
“Bashi da lafiya Ni’imah,he went through a lot,ina matuqar tausaya mashi halin da yake ciki.”
Duk da tasan cewa shi din mutum ne mai tsantsar tausayi,qila hakan nada nasaba da raunin zuciya da yake da ita ta wani bangaren,duk kuwa da kasancewar shi namiji,amma yau sai taga tausayi da jimamin dake shimfide a fuskarshi ya zarce na ko wanne lokaci,toh ko ma dai menene ta tabbata wannan tsohon abokin nashi na da matuqar daraja da qima a wajen shi,sannan kuma duk da bata san me ke damun abokin ba,ta tabbata ba abu qarami bane ba,hakan yasa itama ta tsinci kanta da yi mashi addiar samun lafiya ba tare kuma da ta nemi jin baasin kalar ciwon nashi ba ganin shi dinma beyi yunqurin sanar da ita ba.
“Bari inje mugaisa da su Mama,zanqarasa wajen Dada ma,mussamman ma don isar mata da gaisuwar M.G,nasan zatai matuqar murnar jin Allah ya sake hadamu for the second time.”
Ya ida maganar yayin da yake gyarawa Fawad kwanciya akan kujerar,itama din miqewa tayi domin taka mashi zuwa balcony din part din su,a hanya ne yake sake ce mata ta sanar da Ammy cewa inya dawo anjima din akwai maganar da yakeso su tattauna,amsa mashi tai da zata sanar da ita in tadawo daga er fitar da tayi dazun nan ba dadewa.
Bayan isar su inda zai sadaka da bangaren Mama ne suka dakata da tafiyar,lokaci guda suna mai ci gaba da kallon junansu suna murmushi,samun kanta tayi da sakin er dariya sakamakon abinda Kabeer din ya ce mata.
“Yaushe zaki gama off din?”
Ya jefo mata tambayar da ta sanyata tsagaitawa daga er dariyar da take.
“Jibi in sha Allah.”
“Monday kenan if I’m not mistaken,alright toh not bad,i will see you later then.”
“Toh shikenan sai ka fito,ina gaida Mama.”
Duk da tasan babu amfani a gaisuwar ta ta,amma sau tari bata fasa miqa saqon gaisuwarta zuwa ga Maman,haka zalika shi dinma bai taba kuskuren qin sanar da ita ba duk da kashedin da Maman ke mashi akan hakan,a cewarta bata son feleqen banza da munafurci,ko ta gaisheta ko ma karta gaisheta ita dai abu guda ta sani,ba zata taba yadda tayi surukuta da ita ba,ko da hakan na nufin jefa dan nata cikin wani hali ne.
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“Considered it done in sha Allah,i will see you later.”
Ya bata amsa yayin d ayake shigewa hanyar da zata sadaka da bangaren mahaifiyar ta shi,lokaci guda itama ta juya domin komawa nasu bangaren,zuciyarta dauke da tunani kala kala.
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2:33 am
Kaduna,Nigeria.
Ta sake mirginawa a karo na barkatai tun bayan dora haqarqarin ta akan gadon,baccin da ta ke ta qoqarin kamowa tun awanni uku da ta kwanta domin yin shi din yaqi yiwuwa,hakan yataimaka wajen cigaba da hauhawar ciwon kan da ya riga ya zame mata jiki,har ma ta fara haqura da sha mashi magani,ta dafe kanta bayan ta mirgina ta tashi zaune,lokaci guda tai baya da kanta gami da jingina shi bisa tafkeken allon royal bed in da girmanshi ya kusa nasarar mamaye dakin,komai na dakin golden ne with touch of cream,kama daga bangon dakin har izuwa hadaddun furnitures din da sukai matuqar qawata dakin,ba sai anfada maka ba kasan naira tasha kashi a gurin.
Ta sauke ajiyar zuciya,tana mai sake nutsuwa cikin tunanin da ta fara gajiya da shi,wai ita kam sai yaushe ne al’amuranta ne za su daidaita?sai yaushe zata samu cikar burin ta?sai yaushe farin ciki zai isketa kamar kowace mace a gidan aurenta?sai yaushe zata ci moriyar aure kamar kowa ce mace ne?Tambayoyin da har yau sama da shekaru biyar ta gaza samo amsar su,wanda zuwa yanzu ta riga d ata sare,ta kuma fara fidda rai ga samun duk wadancen ababen da ta ke kwadayi,meyasa rayuwa ba za tai mata adalci ba?
Hawayen da takan yi qoqarin hana fitar su ne suka sanyo kai ta hanyar yi mata fitar burtu,haka kuma ba su dakata ba suka cigaba da shatata ba qaqqautawa,zuwa wannan lokacin ma ta riga da ta haqura ta bude maqoshin ta ta riqa rera kukan da ke sake sanya zuciyarta yin zafi,zafin da ta kan iya jiyoshi har qwaqwalwart,zafin da kan sanya duhu ya mamaye duk wata hanya da ka iya miqo haske a duniyarta,ta kanji ta tsani kanta,ta tsani wand ayake da kaso mafi yawa wajen sanyata jin abinda take ji din,ta kuma tsani yanda rayuwar gaba daya take wasan kura da farin cikin ta.
Ba ta san ya akai ba,ta dai tsinci ziciyarya da ingizata zuwa ga abinda ta kanyi a duk lokacin da qunci irin wannan riskar ta,duk da shekaru kusan uku kenan tana kamanta hakan a kusan ko wane dare na rayuwarta,amma har yau din babu wani cigaba,yanzunma ta san makomar ta,amma hakan baisa ta fasa abinda ta riga da sabawa da yi ba,qila hakan na da nasaba da tsakurarren sassauci da hakan ke kawo mata,sassauci mai tattare da wahala.
“Devil”
Fitila mai qarancin haske ce a dakin wacce ke girke a gefen bed side din dakin,duk da qarancin hasken da ke dakin hakan ba zai sa ka kasa hango tsantsar tsafta da qamshin dake fita daga cikin matsakaicin dakin mai dauke da wani hadadden Italian bed that is so elegant yet simple,babu tarkace a dakin sosai inka dauke wardrobe din gadon,sai mirror sai kuma ta dayan gefen wata lafiyayyar doguwar couch ce guda daya tal,wanda akwai wani dan corner daga gefen kadan da zai sadaka da wani guri mai dauke da jibgin littattafai wadanda suke a jera cikin tsari,sai kuma tarkacen desktop da laptop da kuma abubuwan da bazaa raasa ba da suka dangancin appliances na wuta,ba shakka ko baka jin bacci ka tako qafarka cikin dakin nan dole ne kaso bata mafi yawa na daga lokutan ka wajen shaqar qamshi da niimat dake zagaye da dakin.
Ta inda tafi tsammanin ganinshi takai idanuwanta,ilai kuwa yana gurin,kwance a saman couch din, hasken dake ratsowa daga harabar gidan ta cikin curtains din da suke da sauqin nauyi da kauri ta hango shi,har gobe idan ta kalleshi ta kan ji zuciyarta ta tsaya na dan taqaitaccen lokaci,har ta riqa tambayar kanta meyasa a wancan lokacin da take tsaka da bulayin samun sa takanji idan ta sameshi tamkar dukkan matsalolin ta sunzo qarshe,tana ganin tamkar idan yazama nata burikanta na dunia sun cika?sai dai kuma zuwa yanzu ta dade da gane wautar ta,ta dade da gane cewar burinka nata ma bayan samun nasa suka taso,bayan ta sameshin ne ma ta fahimci cewa ashe yanzu ne ma qunci da baqin ciki rayuwa samun ikon ziyartar ta,har ta kai ta kawo da kanta take neman samu ‘yanci daga gareshi ruwa a jallo,sai dai kamar yanda yake fada mata ne kullum shine,
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“Na sha fada maki Fadwa,nadamar aurena shine nadamar qarshe da zaki taba yi a rayuwarki,zan shayar dake zaqi da madaci na daga cikin nasarar aurena,zan kuma tabbatar da kin fahimci bambanci tsakanin Son rai da son zuciyah.”
Ba shakka ya tabbatar da maganganunshi,yana kan tabbatar mata,duk da cewar wasu tsarin na daga kalar zaman da suke,basa daga tsarin abinda shi din ya tsara,tsarin yazo ne a bazata,yazo a bakatatan,yazo ne a shammace ba tare da su din sun hango kasantuwar hakan ba!
“Nasan idonka biyu Mukhtar,a yau ba sai gobe ba nakeso ka taimakeni ka sahale mani wannan wahalallen auren naka.”
Ta dan dakata ba don ta kai qarshen maganar ta ta ba,sai domin zuqar iskar da zata bata qwarin guiwat cigaba da neman abinda ta riga ta san bazata samu ba,sai dai masu iya magana kan ce a rashin tayi akan bar arha.
“For the thousandth time Mukhtar,ka sahale man auren nan ko zanga jinina a ban qasa!!!”
Ta kan iya hango murmushin da ya subuce mashi ta dan hasken dake dakin,hakan wata aladarshi ce a duk lolacin da zata zo mashi da zance makamanciyar wannan.
“I thought you promised to be with me in happiness or in sorrow?in riches or in poverty?in health or in sickness?Ko sai natuna maki tarin alqawuran da kika sha yi mani a shekarun baya?”
Ta tsinakyo muryarshi,duk da bai motsa ba daga inda yake kwancen,alamarin da ya sanyata runtse idanuwanta tana tsiyayar hawayen takaici,jikinta na bata wannan karon ma babu alamun nasara ga buqatar ta.
“But i didn’t promised to be with someone who can not give me a child for Goodness sake!”
Ta bashi amsa muryarta dauke da wani irin zafi da bacin rai,yes of course sonshi da qaunarshi da kuma zabar kasancewa da shi basui validating zama dashi ba him being infertile,itama tana son zama uwa kamar kowace mace,tana son ganin yaranta a dunia,indai ta nan bangaren nan she don’t care being called selfish despite her being selfish in almost all aspects in her life,but then nan magana ake ta cikar arziqin ta na dunia kai harma da lahirar,arziqin zama uwa,and she bowed to become one no matter how it takes,even if that means rabuwa da mutumin da ta fi so kaf rayuwarta.
“And funny enough you will have to live with that Fadwah,wannan din na daya daga cikin nadamomin da nai maki alqawari,and kinsan alqawari na daya daga cikin abubuwan da nake ba muhimmanci,ko da hakan na nufin quntata maki ne,besides it’s what you chose yourself.”
Qura mashi manyan idanuwanta tayi da suka riga suka rine daga kalar fari zuwa ja,zuciyarta na wani irin tsalle,a hankali tanajin tashin hankalinta na qara yawa,shekarunta sunfara ja,iya saninta ba zata maimaita shekarun baya ba zata dangana da menopause stage,and tanajin wani irin tsoro,tanajin tsoron kada garin tsayawa lallamin shi ta bata sauran lokacin da ke gare ta ba tare da ta cika burin ta ba,shin rashin imani da tausayin Mukhtar yakai har yayi denying dinta right dinta?meye laifin ta har haka?
Cikin yanayi na zuqar majina da tsantsar bacin rai tace,
“The devil is a liar!!!wallahi billahi Mukhtar saika sakeni,ko da hakan na nufin zan rasa kowa da komai ne a rayuwata,qwrai da gaske ba zan iya cigaba da zama da mutumin da baida amfani ba,ba zan cigaba da zama da mutumin da bayan bacin rai da takaici babu abinda yake tsinana mani,ba zan iya zama da mutumin da shi da babu daya su ke ba,ko da kuwa hakan na nufin rushewar duk wani jindadi na ne a duniya,Mukhtar dole ka sakeni ko kaqi ko ka so!!!”
Wannan karon bata samu darajar kallo ba,juyawa yayi yana fuskantar jikin couch din,haka kuma ba tare da ya damu da haqilonta ba yace,
“In kin gama hayaniyar ina buqatar haqqina,remember it’s been three good days without you on that bed.”
Ya qarasa maganar yana mai nuni da gyararren gadon nashi wanda yake a gyare kamar baa taba hawa ba.
Kallon shi take da wani irin yanayi,har yanzu da suke shekara ta shidda zuwa da bakwai da aure ta kasa tantance shin wani irin mutum ne wannan take aure?a koda yaushe amsarta guda daya ce,Mukhtar Gaya is an extraordinary man,a lokaci guda zai shayar dakai madacin dake dauke da sinadarin zaqi,kana kuma ya tabbatar da ya musanya quncin ka zuwa tsakurarren jin dadi mai dauke da tarin haushi da baqin ciki.
“Nagaji da zubin adashin da ba kwasa,besides banga amfanin yin abinda babu abinda zai tsinana man sai tarin baqin ciki ba,idan har haqqina ne da kake ikirarin ba zaka taba tauye mani ba toh a yau ina mai yi maka albishiri din cewa na yafe,ko banza yafiyar tawa ba zatai dogon zango ba,tunda gab nake da samar wa kaina ‘yanci ko sama da qasa zata hade.”
Yanda yajuyo wannan karon yana kallonta ya sanyata itama qara gyara tsayuwarta tana mai sake daure fuskarta tamau,eh qwarai da gaske angama yin wannan iskancin da ita,indai wannan abun ne toh ta yafe,duk da yana ikirarin cewa ya dade da sanin kwanciya da shi shine kaso mafi yawa na daga abinda ke sa ta jure zama da shi,eh beyi qarya ba kam,shi din ya kasance wani irin gwarzon namiji mai wuyar bayyanarwa,sai dai hakan yazama na banza,tunda babu wata qaruwa d ahakan ke samar mata baya ga taqaitaccen jin dadin na dan wani lokaci.
“Well,a karo na farko zanyi maki abinda kike buqata,ki dauka abinda kika buqata ya tabbata,zamu cigaba da irin zaman da dama can shi nai maki tanadi,ko banza that will save both of us the stress and waste of energy,now mind getting out from my sight?”
“Zanfita,amma inaso kasan cewa lallai ba zancigaba da zama da mutumin da bazai iya haihuwa ba a kaf rayuwar shi,and i am ready to face whoever is trying to get in between my freedom and dreams!”
“Ko banza kinyi nasarar debe wasu lokuta na tunanin ababe biyu da suke sanya rayuwata cigaba da wanzuwa a ban qasa,wannan kadai ya isheni punishment,now you can go ahead and do whatever you like,magana ta guda daya ce kamar ko da yaushe Fadwa,ta yanda kikai shishshigin shigowa cikin rayuwata ba tare da izini ko yarda ta ba,haka zaki fita da qafafunki ba tare da digon gumi na,you chose this remember?now you can go ahead and decide on how you should get rid of this marriage.”
Ya juya kanshi gamida cusa kanshi cikin throw pillow din dake gabanshi,sanin cewa ba zai sake ce mata komi ba ya sanyata yin qwafa gami da juyawa inda ta fito,zuciyarta dauke da alwashin dole ne ma ta rabu da Mukhtar ko da hakan na nufin batawa da iyayenta ne a karo na biyu.